If you’re preparing for the IELTS exam, you’ve probably wondered: What does a Band 9 essay actually look like? IELTS Writing Task 2 is known for being particularly challenging, with test-takers often struggling to reach the highest scores. In this post, we’ll explore what makes a Band 9 essay stand out, and we’ll walk through a real example so you can see it in action.
What Is IELTS Writing Task 2?
Task 2 is the essay-writing portion of the IELTS Writing section. You’ll be asked to respond to a point of view, argument, or problem in at least 250 words. You’re scored on four main criteria:
- Task Response
- Coherence and Cohesion
- Lexical Resource
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy
To achieve Band 9, you must excel in all four areas—and consistently.
Band 9 Essay Example
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Many cities around the world are facing serious traffic congestion, which causes delays, pollution, and stress.
What are the main causes of traffic congestion, and what solutions can be implemented to address this problem?
Band-9 Model Answer
One hundred and fifty years ago, traffic congestion wasn’t really the issue it is today but as the world has grown richer, the number of private cars has skyrocketed. This has led to many metropolitan areas being consumed by gridlock as roads built for horses and carts are taken over by much larger vehicles. In addition, the smog caused by millions of cars has a long term detrimental impact on the health of children and millions of economically productive hours are lost each year. One key cause of this is that as countries grow richer, people use their new disposable income to buy a private car rather than rely on public transport. However, there are remedies out there and one of the most promising is improving the traffic management system.
As developing countries get wealthier their citizens acquire more purchasing power which they can use to acquire a private car. Unfortunately, governments and local municipalities haven’t matched these changes with the rising infrastructure investment needed to match the growing number of vehicles. As a result of this, cities in many developing countries are choked with traffic. This is particularly true in Asia where megacities can see traffic jams that sometimes last for more than four hours. Luckily, there is a fairly simple solution to this that will be explored in the next paragraph.
Smart traffic systems use machine learning, human observation and integrated networks to improve traffic flow. Often the issue is that there are a few junctions in the city where cars get stuck and if you improve the flow of vehicles through these blockages then this can have a significant impact on the traffic. Cities like Bangalore in India and Dhaka in Bangladesh have implemented some of these measures and have made considerable progress in reducing the amount of traffic congestion.
In conclusion, one of the main reasons behind traffic congestion is rapid economic growth which leads to much higher GDP. As people become more affluent, one of the first things they purchase is a private vehicle which leads to millions more cars packed into the same space. However, by improving traffic management some cities have managed to alleviate these issues by focusing on key bottlenecks.
Explanation for Band-9:
• Task Response: All aspects of this essay are excellent. There is a very clear structure, the language use is extremely precise, the punctuation is clear and there are precise sentences. There is nothing that a reader would find confusing. It is difficult to improve the communication in any way and there is a clear answer to both questions. Furthermore, there aren’t any unnecessary words, all the words used in the task are necessary for completing the task.
• Coherence and Cohesion: Excellent sequencing of ideas and excellent support given to all main points given in the essay. This takes the form of explanation and examples. Making it clear to the person reading exactly what the candidate is talking about. The explanation is easy to understand and the examples are appropriate. There is excellent progression in the essay, each part of the essay builds on the next part. The middle and final part build on the beginning, giving more details and expanding the ideas so that it is easier for the reader to understand those ideas.
• Lexical Resource: Excellent use of precise vocabulary at all times that would be extremely difficult to improve. Words are used to maximum communicative effect and every word is crucial for communicating the candidate’s argument.
• Grammar and Accuracy: Not only is this 100% error free but also the grammar is used precisely to help the reader understand the ideas in the essay.
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